Tony and I have compatible parenting styles, very similar on the big issues, in theory anyway. But often on the little techniques of day to day, he sometimes is unsure about my methods for interacting with John.
I think one of those that he is not particularly fond of is the counting technique: "I'm going to count to five, and if you are not climbing into your car seat by then, I'm going to put you in it." It's crude, I agree, but it gets John's attention, gives him a clear amount of time to make the decision and begin to execute it, and expresses what the consequences will be if he doesn't do it. It also gives me one more chance to give him one more chance, but still have a clear end to whatever the battle, I mean task, is...
Do you use the counting technique? How often? Does it work? Does your partner use it too?
7 comments:
Does it work?
And why doesn't Tony like it?
I have just started using it (but I only count to three). I find it to be fairly effective. Like you, I find it helpful to give that one more chance.
Sometimes I count three, sometimes I count five, depending on how fast I think he's going to cooperate. It find it works really well. I mostly use it when we are going from one thing to another, such as coming inside, getting in the car, etc., and picking out a shirt for school. Although for that, he usually doesn't pick in time, I pick, and then he picks...
I think Tony doesn't like it when parents are not clear about why they are counting, and counting while they are mad or don't lay out what's going to happen at the end of the count.
Another bonus is that John is pretty secure on counting 1 to 10 now that we have had so much practice. Sometimes he counts himself into his car seat also.
I count myself to sleep sometimes - does that "count"?
I think Tony also doesn't like it because, if you put yourself in the mindset of a 2-year-old, it sounds so threatening. -Tony
What if you counted down, like a space shuttle launch or New Year's Eve - is that less threatening because it's associated with nice things? I actually kind of like that idea...but of course I'm not a two-year old, nor do I have daily contact with one, so I guess I just don't know!
I'll have to try the counting down method... if I can remember. I may not be able to count backwards that slowly!
Post a Comment