Friday, August 6, 2010

At Juliet's request

I articulated my stance on marriage and expectations to Juliet a while back. Apparently it made some sense to her because she asked me to post it here.

This came up around the time of father’s day this year. These days we’re pretty busy with the kids, so things like getting cakes and cards in advance tend to slip through the cracks. I don’t get as upset about it as Juliet does. When she asked me why, I gave her this analysis…

When it comes to birthdays, father’s day, etc., one of two things will happen…
A) My family will get me a card/cake, or
B) They will not

Now, if I hope that they will get me a card/cake, I will be setting myself up to either be (respective to A and B above)…
A) Pleased, or
B) Disappointed

On the other hand, if I do NOT hope that they will get me a card/cake I will instead be setting myself up to either be…
A) Overjoyed, or
B) Pleased (because what I expected to happen indeed did happen, or I guess I should say it didn't happen)

So I can either set myself up to be pleased/disappointed or overjoyed/pleased . Which would you choose?

6 comments:

Juliet said...

I have to put some context on this... He worked all this out after seeing a cake in the freezer. He came to me and said, I accidentally saw the ice cream cake in the freezer. And I said, you mean the one that Kerri bought for Mark that I told you about yesterday?!

Juliet said...

Also, the whole thing sounds kind of cynical, but since we have a very high-functioning marriage and family, I'm lovin' it!

wirrek said...

Ok, next time I will order TWO ice cream cakes. Sorry Tony!

Juliet said...

Or if I start planning now, maybe I can manage to get one in time for next year...

Pa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pa said...

Viewing things in such a way that a marriage/situation/event has 75% probability of positive outcome is clearly a winner...

Great thinking, Tony!

(reposted due to typo in first try)